Missing Each Other
Beneath the Mask Cover - Rain - Harp
Well, here’s another entry into the diary. I’ve done a lot of work on my website, but I haven’t exactly announced anything. I added a Directory yesterday… and the day before, I spent far too long refining the Links page, haha. I’ve decided to move the Cookbook into the Fun section, so I can have room in the navmenu for the Directory… As for personal developments… It’s so odd. I’ve gotten out so much of my thoughts onto the MelonLand Forum, that I’m not so pent-up and “desperate” to express myself here.
I submitted the Worries to Wobble.Town, but seeing as their last status update has consistently been 908 days ago (it’s definitely been longer than that… but the counter hasn’t changed), I doubt I’ll see an update any time soon, even though the website is still active. Still, I enjoyed making 15 little 16x16 animated sprites for them, and I’ve been trying to make a little “Digivice” like graphic for them to sit in. It’s just been… fun. I haven’t felt like that in a long time.
Amelia’s VISA paperwork is at another post office, so tomorrow, my supervisor is letting me leave work early to go pick that up. You know, I’ve taken so many photos with my new digital camera, but I haven’t bothered to connect it to my computer yet and go through them… I’ve just been enjoying the process of finding compositions and snapping them. I’m not as good at spotting good compositions as I was pre-COVID this year… I’m actually quite concerned about that. But on the bright side, all this flânerie during my breaks and after work has served as good rehab for the left hemisphere of my brain. I just need to do this more often… I should’ve done this sooner.
When I let myself, when I’m not reacting, I do feel sorrow. I don’t know if I’ve wasted time… Considering how disabled we were left after our third and fourth infections, we’re doing quite well. We no longer have to manually breathe, for example, as we lie in bed doing nothing, just barely existing as a living creature only dimly aware of the ceiling in our vision. If we can recover from that, we can recover from this.
…There are so many things I want to say, but Dieter wants to finish the “unfinished” pages of the site, first. Sandy got us this cute little Joltik plushie for our birthday… It’s always on our desk. Today, we drew Debi a baby goat on her birthday card, but we had trouble doing it. That right hemisphere… If we could only keep the left hemisphere and right hemisphere both actively engaged and synchronised… Work on that is far slower than we’d like, and causes burning pain when we do so. I fear we’re overloading our nerves. The right half of our body is functioning better, but nowhere near as before this year’s COVID.
The song that’s playing now, if I listen to it, I can stay online… Maybe that’s what I need to do, I need to keep listening to this, so I can sequence things properly… Sei is great at reacting, but not at observing and absorbing stimuli and organising and sequencing them. I suppose that’s what separated us as children… I, the child who could repeat all the information, but could not even walk properly, or turn a bike before crashing an immobile obstacle such as a building… It was thanks to him that we could finally put what we wanted to do into reality… He made our password me, well, I am referenced in it, and sometimes I forget that he really means it…
…When I am fully myself, I can feel. The sensitivity in my right hand returns, I stand up straight and properly despite the injuries, we can see out of our right eye. Sandy has been very patient with us. It’s been more than a year now and yet she still says she’s looking forward to meeting all of us. We are trying to eat as many carbs as we can, which is hard for us, but necessary for our recovery. And maybe I’ll see Dietz again properly…
I miss him.